Friends who Fight: Why Every Planter Needs a Michael Cooper

Every guy planting a church needs two men in his life. One is the more seasoned Pastor who's there for the planter. He's there to tell the guy he'll survive, but he has to go the distance despite the punches, good rounds and bad, all twelve to the end. He's on the mat shouting, "Get up!" when the young man is down, and "Get off the ropes" when he's forgotten proper form. This man is probably the Pastor of an involved, caring, sending-church, and they are friends. For me, this man was and still is Pastor Kevin Lund at Risen Life Church, my sending Pastor and friend.

Then there's the other guy. Nobody talks about the second man. I've never read about him in any church planting book. I believe he might be just as important as the first man.

The second man is the guy who the planter-pastor can argue with. They can talk about ideas, passionately disagreeing, and yet remain friends. They challenge each other to bring their A-game. Nothing gets by the other. There are no easy pitches. They make each other better. For me, this was Michael Cooper, a NAMB Catalyst.

It's no secret that the first time I met Cooper, I had to hold back the urge to get in a fistfight with him. At first, I couldn't stand the guy, yet we'd talk and argue for hours. I started calling him my arch-nemesis. At one point, he actually asked me, "Bryan, how many bad ideas do you have in a day?" Nearly every conversation felt like a fencing match. But they forced me to think better. Even if I never agreed with Cooper, he made me sharper about my ideas. I looked forward to getting coffee with him.

Michael Cooper and I disagree on almost everything: missiological, ecclesiological, theological, and probably most other things, too. He used to advise other church planters to get coffee with me and then do the exact opposite of whatever I told them was a good idea. It made for a grand friendship, and I loved it. I needed it.

As it turned out, he was working on a doctorate at the same time I was at the same seminary. It became a race to see who would finish first, which spurred us both to get across the finish line. Technically speaking, he completed all the work first, but thanks to alphabetical order, I was hooded first. There was a brief moment when this "Dr." could look across the stage at that "Mr." and smile. You get the idea.

I graduated from NAMB support, and a global pandemic changed things. Michael Cooper and I are busier than ever. Our paths don't cross much. But today, I thought I disagreed with something he's been involved with recently, so I texted him to be sure. He asked that we meet in person. After nearly three years, we picked up right where we left off. That's what friends who can disagree with each other do.

Every church planter needs a Michael Cooper. They need someone to argue and fight with who is not in their congregation. They need someone to test all their ideas on so they can figure out which ones are good and which should be tossed aside. (For the record, I knew which ideas were the best for me based on how much Cooper said they were stupid. He was almost right sometimes, but I would have never told him!)

For the past 3 or 4 years, it seems nobody knows how to argue with someone and stay friends. Nobody values the blessing of a good fight to work out the best and worst ideas. We've lost this remarkable aspect of friendship. What has happened to our world? And also, having a friend like this makes life less boring.

Michael Cooper and his team are launching ValleyLight Church in West Valley, Utah this Sunday. I'm sure he's doing many things I would never do. Nonetheless, I'm praying for their launch, mission, and church. I'm praying for Michael Cooper and his family. I'm hopeful for this Kingdom work and look forward to all his bad ideas working well for a great group of brothers and sisters in Christ. If you're in West Valley and don't attend a Christian Church, check out ValleyLight. Really, I mean that.

May God bless you, Michael Cooper! Have a great launch. And you know where to find me if you want to get a burger and fight about your next terrible idea.